Lost and Found
by WitchyVampireGirl
Summary: Two lost souls struggling to find the light after horrible tragedies, find solace in each other. Written for FAGE 9: The Last Ride.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N; I'll see you below!**

FAGE 9: The Last Ride  
Title: Lost and Found  
Written for: Eternally Cullen  
Written By: WitchyVampireGirl  
Rating: M  
Summary/Prompt used: Two lost souls struggling to find the light after horrible tragedies, find solace in each other.

I used the prompt of lost and found- but in a more metaphoric way! *winks*

EPOV

The rain seeped through my hoodie as I ran across the street towards a non-descript building. Lights burned brightly, beckoning all to its promised warmth and shelter. As I bolted up the steps humming, I threw open the door, shaking away the excess rain. The familiar scents of vanilla and lavender greeted me as I walked deeper into the room.

Carmen was bustling around setting out chairs and moving tables to the outskirts of the room. Coffee and water were already set out as well the boxes that contained the sweets she never failed to bring. Wordlessly I started to push a table out of the way of the circle of chairs she was building in the center of the room. It took a few moments to realize she had stopped moving and was just staring at me.

"What?" I asked as I moved a few more chairs into the circle.

"You're whistling," she replied with a glint in her eyes.

"Was I? I didn't realize. I can stop if it bothers you." Glancing up I saw her lips curl into a smile.

"Bother me? Not in the least. It's a great to hear."

My face heated up as I ducked my head.

"Oh no, don't hide, Edward. It's just proof of how far you've come in the last year. It's a beautiful thing to see you happy. Do I dare ask what or should I say who it's about?" She gave me a knowing smirk causing my blush to deepen.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Carmen."

Laughing she said, "Oh Edward, what have we said about denial?" We laughed at her joke and in silence continued to set up the room.

Ten minutes later the room was filled with people talking softly before the meeting started. I held a warm cup of coffee in one hand and two pastries in the other. My eyes scanned the room looking at who was present. I couldn't deny that I was looking for someone in particular or how my heart raced just a bit at the idea of seeing them. There was also a tinge of guilt that accompanied those feelings. I hadn't felt anticipation or happiness in over a year and here they were, bubbling up inside me.

Tanya and I had spent the whole session on them when we met a few days ago. She noticed, like Carmen had, that I seemed happier and as we talked about it, out came other feelings and desires. Of course, there were tears and guilt that I was happy as well. It was a double-edged sword and I wasn't sure how to deal with all these overwhelming feelings. Sadness and grief had been my companions for so long that anything new tended to throw me for a loop.

Carmen calling the meeting to order broke me from my thoughts as I scrambled to find a place to sit. A tug at my arm made me pause and then smile as the person I was looking for appeared by my side.

"Is one of those for me?" Bella asked as she pointed to the pastries.

"Of course!" I held my hand out and she took the chocolate donut I saved for her.

"Thanks," she whispered as we sat down.

"Anytime," I replied and for the first time I realized how much I meant it.

"Welcome! It's so nice to see everyone. If you're new to our group we have a few rules … "

Carmen's familiar way of starting the group played in the background as I leaned to whisper in Bella's ear.

"Everything ok? Normally you beat me here."

She smiled and then rubbed the slight bump she was sporting. "Doctor's appointment went late."

Fear gripped me. "Is there something wrong?" I prayed she couldn't hear the slight hysteria that crept into my voice.

Her warm hand covered mine. "Oh no, everything is just fine. It was just a routine check-up." She gave my hand a squeeze and I breathed a sigh of relief. My eyes strayed to the swell of her abdomen and was confused by the wish that I could touch it.

Turning my attention to Carmen and away from my thoughts, I focused on what Carmen was saying.

"I always like to start the meeting off by asking one of the regulars if they would like to speak." Carmen's eyes touched on everyone in the circle, but stopped on me. I knew she wanted to know what's been going on with me after our earlier conversation.

Giving her a smirk, I raised my hand.

"Edward, thanks for volunteering." Her lips twitched in a brief smile.

"Hello, everyone. I'm Edward. I've been coming to this group for just over a year. My wife Alice and infant son died in July 2015 due to complications of a placental abruption."

"Hello, Edward," everyone intoned.

 **A/N: Hello my lovelies! I hope you will enjoy this little story I cooked up. I want to thank my lovely beta Pixiekat who waved her magic wand. Of course, I tinkered afterwards, so any mistakes are mine. Since this is a FAGE story (its a story gift exchange for those not in the know) the entire story must be posted today. There are 11 chapters and 2 epis. They wont be long- nothing more than 1700 words. This story deal with grief and loss of loved ones and how those left behind forge ahead. Eternally Cullen- I do hope you enjoy.**

 **Now- leave me some love! See you soon with chapter 2!**

 **WVG**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I've been asked if this is going to be sad.. i don't think so.. but it deals with sad stuff. This is the story of finding life again. ENJOY!**

BPOV

I tried to focus on what others in the group were saying. But my brain was hyper-aware that Edward's leg was touching mine. I cursed my pregnancy hormones for being as attracted to him as I was. Guilt swirled though the lust reminding me that my husband was dead and would never see his unborn child grow up. That tempered my hormones a bit and helped me to follow the conversation going on.

Mike, an elderly widower, who just lost his wife due to complications during her hip replacement, was talking about what he did on her birthday which was last week and the first without her. Tears welled in my eyes as I remembered celebrating Seth's birthday after he had died. It had only been a month after he passed away and the sadness was still so fresh. I couldn't find the strength to get out of bed so I stayed there. Luckily Seth's brother, Jake, came over with a cake and kept me company throughout the day. Eventually we sang Happy Birthday to Seth and together we ate the cake telling stories and reminiscing about the guy we both loved. Since that day, Jake has been a godsend to me, a true pillar of support and comfort. He was there as I told his parents that I was pregnant with Seth's baby. He's accompanied me to a few appointments and didn't mind my late-night calls when all I did was cry.

It was at Jake's insistence that I come to this grief and loss support group. He appealed to my awakening maternal instincts. If I wasn't going to do it for me, then I should do it for the baby. He was right and the people in the group understood me in ways I never expected. Knowing we've all lost loved ones and watching as we all clawed our way out of the sadness gave me hope that one day breathing wouldn't hurt.

What I hadn't expected was Edward. When I first joined, he was the only person close to my age so I gravitated to him. We didn't talk at first, because my grief had me so wrapped up in myself that I barely registered him at times. But then we struck up a conversation one night as I was waiting for Jake to pick me up. Edward was helping Carmen clean up and we got to talking. From there a friendship of sorts grew.

I tried to resist it. I felt as if I was walking all over Seth's memory, trying to replace him with Edward. Weeks with my own therapist helped me see reality and not what grief was whispering in my ear. Irina reminded me that Edward and I shared many similarities in our grief; sudden and tragic circumstances, being young and losing a spouse, the loss of the planned family. It helped that Edward was in no place for anything more than a friendship. I knew my pregnancy was hard on him. It was a reminder of what he watched Alice go through and the loss of his child.

But as the weeks turned into months, the pained look in his eye grew less and less, while my belly began to show signs of the baby growing inside. In fact, as I progressed, Edward grew very protective of me and the little nugget. He always saved me my favorite donut, asked how I was feeling, making sure I was eating properly and taking care of myself. It was quite endearing.

But in the last few weeks, as my hormones surged and my brain scrambled, I've notice just how good looking Edward was. He towered over my slight five foot, four-inch frame. His hair was a strange mix of brown and red and looked so soft. His face was angular in an attractive way and it was only enhanced by the slight stubble he always seemed to be sporting. But it was his eyes that captivated me- a bright green that reminded me of the Spanish moss that was everywhere outside Nana Swan's house in Georgia.

The way I was reacting to him messed with my head and heart. I was over five months pregnant with my deceased husband's child, attracted to a man I met at a support group who had lost his own wife and child. Add to it that I felt like a stranger in my ever-changing body and I didn't know how or what to feel. My heart kept saying it was way too soon to find another man attractive. Irina and pregnancy lust kept telling me there is no time table for dealing with and healing from grief.

If only Edward wasn't so damned sweet, it would make it easier to stay away.

 **A/N: So that is Bella. Just to clarify- Edward lost Alice and his child just over a year ago. For Bella, its about 7 months.. and she is about 6 months pregnant. I would love to hear your thoughts! I will try my best to answer your reviews!**

 **WVG**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Ohh you guys make me smile. All your stories and words of comfort... it's freaking awesome! Ready to hear from Edward again? He talks about the loss of his child- possible trigger. Take care!**

EPOV

I rubbed my hands on my pants as I searched for the words I wanted to say. I could feel Tanya's eyes on me as she waited on me to speak.

"I think it's time to get rid of the baby stuff." I sighed and closed my eyes as I waited for the sadness to hit. It wasn't as mind-numbing as it was in the beginning, just a dull echo of that pain.

"What makes you think it's time, Edward?"

Opening my eyes, I leaned forward, my elbows digging into my thighs as I scrubbed my face. "I don't know what brought it on really. Just one day I passed by the closed door of the nursery and it hit me that keeping it wasn't going to bring Alice or Emmett back."

Looking up at Tanya, I continued. "At first seeing it was a reminder of all that I had lost and I wanted to be reminded. It seemed to be my penance for surviving. But when I walked in the room, I realized I was hanging onto the dream of Emmett and he deserves so much more. He deserves to be with his mom and that's where he is. Seeing the furniture, he'll never get to use, felt like it wasn't serving its purpose and that there was some baby out there who should get the honor of using it."

By the end of my speech, Tanya was smiling and nodding. "All good insights, Edward." She paused as she regarded me. "Are you sure you're ready for this step? You know there's no set timeframe for these kind of things."

I pondered my answer for a moment, searching deep inside me for what I really felt. "Yeah, I'm sure," I said after a while. "Emmett and Alice are always with me, in my heart. I don't need furniture that he never touched to remind me. It actually hurts when I look at it. I have my pictures, his footprints and his hospital bracelet. Those are his and they're the important things to keep."

"Very thoughtful, Edward. Have you given thought as to what you want to do with the furniture?"

Feeling nervous, because yes, I had thought of exactly what I wanted to do with it, I just wasn't sure if I was crazy for what I was thinking.

"Umm, yes, I do have an idea. I'm just worried what you'll think."

Tanya just laughed. "Well, this ought to be good."

A week later found me nervous once more, just on a larger scale. I'd thought I'd be in tears as I loaded up the baby furniture into the back of the rented truck. There was the familiar lingering sadness, but also a feeling of rightness. I was honest with Tanya about how I felt, this was just one more step toward moving on. Life has continued to go on no matter how much I pleaded for it not to in those early days. But as I drove the truck down the familiar roads, my anxiety level began to skyrocket.

Tanya had cautioned me that there could be unseen triggers and to prepare for it. I understood her caution, but for once I decided to give the idea of hope and faith a try. With a few more cleansing breaths, I bounded up the front steps and rang the doorbell. Time appeared to stand still as I waited for the door to open. The coffee and bagel I had for breakfast churned in my stomach and I worried I would have to find a place to throw it all up. But just then I heard the door locks click and when I turned around, Bella was smiling at me from behind the screen door.

"Edward, how nice to see you! Come on in." She opened the door and just like that the nerves calmed and my stomach stopped rioting.

I'd been to Bella's house numerous times and it never seemed to fail that once I stepped inside, I felt at ease and relaxed. At first it confused me, how I could feel so at ease in another woman's presence much less home. In the end, it came down to the fact that Bella was simply amazing. Even in her own grief she found a way to be giving, open and compassionate. I saw it when we were in group or when we were just talking and sharing a sweet treat. Bella was innately good and one couldn't help but feel a sense of calm when around her.

"Care for a cup of coffee?" She asked as we made our way to the kitchen.

"That would be great."

In silence as I watched as she popped the K-cup in and then once brewed, proceed to add what she knew I liked, two spoonfuls of sugar and a dash of cream. With a smile, she slid the mug over to me and picked up her own. I raised my brow as nodded towards her cup.

"Herbal tea, Dad." She rolled her eyes at me.

"Hey, just looking out for your well-being." I knew I was a bit overbearing when it came to her pregnancy. The fear that what happened to Alice could happen to Bella was still very present and it bothered me that Bella could suffer the same fate. I called it being concerned for a friend, Tanya thought it was something else but refused to tell me what, saying I would discover it in my own time.

"I know." She squeezed my hand and just as quickly let go. As I watched her eat her fruit, I realized I wished she would've held my hand just a moment or two longer. Her touch was so warm and comforting, I didn't want it to be over so soon.

 **A/N: Aww.. isn't nervous Edward such a cutie?! You all still with me? See you in a bit! Leave me some love!**

 **WVG**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Just to clarify- Bella found out she was pregnant AFTER Seth died... she's about 6 months now.. please dont get bogged down in the details.. lol Shall we continue?**

 **Eternally- gah.. I hope you like!**

BPOV

There was a tension in the air as I finished my snack. I could feel Edward's eyes on me, but not in a creepy way. If I was being honest, there was a hunger there, an intense gaze that said so much. My body reacted instinctively while my heart tried to put on the brakes. Needing to break the heated silence, I cleared my throat as I swallowed my last strawberry and noisily cleared my dishes.

"You ready to paint, Edward?" I was being a chicken as I spoke to him with my back turned, but I needed a few minutes away from his penetrating gaze.

"Yes," he stammered.

With one last deep breath, I faced him to find the intensity was gone and in its place was the friendship that I needed.

"You know, you didn't need to come over. Jake said he would've helped in a few weeks." I smiled at him.

His return smile warmed my heart. "Well, I have an ulterior motive for why I wanted to help. Follow me?" He held out his hand and without thinking I placed mine in his. There was a surge of warmth, a spark of electricity that zinged between us. I looked up at him to see his smile had widened, and a look wonder in his eyes. With a soft squeeze, he led me back to the front door.

"Trust me?" Once again, I nodded yes without a thought. He pulled out a blindfold and covered my eyes.

"I promise nothing bad will happen to you." His warm breath washed over my cheek and I couldn't help but shiver. His warm familiar scent washed over me and for a split-second I felt so very safe.

But before I could analyze my feelings, Edward was gently leading me out my door, down the steps and to the street. "Stay right there," he ordered. Seconds later I heard the sound of a metal door opening.

My mind swirled with speculation as to what Edward was up to, but when he returned to my side, all I noticed was how warm he was as he maneuvered me into positon. With a flourish, he pulled the blindfold off and gestured to the open truck.

At first I didn't realize what I was looking at until I saw the crib. Then it hit me. It was a complete nursery room set. Tears fell fast and furious. There were no words to express how I was feeling, so I did the only thing I could. I threw myself into his arms and hugged him tight. When his arms wrapped around me, my body sagged with relief. Not because he did such a wonderful thing for me, but because for the first time since Seth died, I felt safe and cared for.

 **N/A: Gah! They so need each other! You all still with me? Leave me your thoughts! Ch. 5 coming right up!**

 **WVG**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Here's the next one... I think this will bring a smile to everyone's face! Stick with me.. I promise you'll love it!**

EPOV

Hours later we were both silent as we stared at the results of our hard work. The walls had been painted a warm yellow that worked well with the dark wood of the furniture. Bella was sitting in the rocking chair, moving gently and I couldn't take my eyes off her. She was absolutely beautiful.

"Are you sure about this, Edward? I don't want there to be any regret or resentment later on." Her brow furrowed adorably and I had to suppress the urge to smooth it away.

"I'm very sure. It was the right time for me. It had been gathering dust for over a year. These never really belonged to Emmett." I kept my eyes on her so she would see how truthful I was being. Giving her the furniture felt so right.

She smiled at me and I reached over to squeeze her hand. "Are you okay with me giving it to you?"

This time it was her that squeezed my hand. "Very, it was so sweet of you. I was actually dreading the idea of looking for stuff." She paused as looked away, her grip on my hand never lessening. "It was always something I used to tease Seth about. He wasn't the handiest of guys, so I used to tease him that he'd be surrounded by instructions that said insert tab A into slot B and he'd be so confused."

We both chuckled at the picture she painted. Looking back at me, with tears glistening in her eyes, she gave me a sweet smile. "But what you did for me … Thank you, Edward." Before I could reply she gasped and looked down at her belly.

"The baby kicked!" Without warning, she placed my hand on her belly and pushed down. A few moments later we were rewarded with a solid kick. She held my hand to her stomach as she gazed down longingly.

"I've felt lots of flutters and internal movement, but that was the first solid kick to my stomach. Isn't it amazing, Edward?" She looked up at me with such happiness in her eyes. She radiated joy.

"It's pretty amazing." My eyes never left hers. When we felt another kick, I gazed down at her stomach as an acute longing struck me. _What if ... ? No, I can't go there._

Pulling my eyes away from her belly, we simply stared at each other, the air crackling between us. But then the moment was gone as my stomach rumbled, loudly. We laughed and then made our way downstairs to order pizza.

If you would've asked me what I was thinking at that moment, I would've sworn to you that I was just happy to see Bella happy. But later that night, it was a lot harder to hide from the truth- that I was fighting with everything I had not to kiss Bella.

A week later, I was still reeling from the realization that I wanted to kiss Bella. It was an exhilarating and downright scary feeling. As I tried to grapple with my emotions, I paced Tanya's office. My hands were fisted in my hair as I thought about how wonderful it would be to kiss Bella. I had to stop myself so many times from tangling my hands through her hair. Flopping back down on Tanya's couch, I closed my eyes as I struggled to articulate what I was thinking.

"Edward, can I ask you a question?" Tanya's soothing voice sliced through the fog in my head. I nodded for her to continue.

"What are you really afraid of?" Her question hung in the air like smoke. I opened my mouth to answer, but nothing came out. So, I did the next best thing, I deflected.

"What makes you think I'm scared?"

Tanya just laughed at me. I sat up on her couch, glaring at her.

"Nice deflection there, sporto. But I'll humor you. I _know_ you're scared. This is the first person you've been attracted to since Alice died and I would wager all I owned that deep down you're worried your betraying her." She paused, leaned forward in her chair and looked me dead in the eye. "I'll even go a step further to say you're terrified that you may feel more strongly for Bella than you did for Alice." She sat back with a smug look at her face.

I stared at her, hard trying to determine if she was serious or just yanking my chain. Words floated in my head, but I wasn't unable to form a single sentence to refute her claim.

"Care to prove me wrong?" Her challenge was whispered, but the force behind it was strong. Her smile grew as I stood to walk out. In response I did the only thing I could- I flipped her the bird.

 **A/N: Ohh my darling Edward... denial is more than a river! *giggles* How we doing out there? Leave me your thoughts!**

 **WVG**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Let's see what Bella thought of the "moment"! ENJOY!**

BPOV

"I swear there was a moment, Irina, when he wanted to kiss me and for one achingly sweet moment, I wanted it too. But then it was gone and I was left feeling horny, guilty and alone." I flopped back on the couch, my breath coming out in fast huffs. "It's just pregnancy hormones, right? I'm in my second trimester, I haven't gotten laid in forever and Edward is just too down-right sexy for his own good." Sighing I gave voice to my darkest fear. "Maybe I'm just a replacement for his dead wife," I muttered

Closing my eyes, I waited for Irina to confirm that I was just horny and needed to go a few rounds with a good vibrator. But when a few minutes of silence had passed- I cracked open an eyes to see her looking thoughtfully at me.

"What?" I asked her feeling frustrated that she wasn't helping me sort out how I felt about Edward.

"I want to ask you something, and I want you to be completely honest with me and with yourself. Can you do that?" Irina pinned me with her gaze.

I nodded my head, "Of course."

"Don't think about it, just say what comes to your mind."

Again, I nodded.

"How would you describe Seth to a stranger?"

I snorted, did she think this was going to be hard for me?

"Sweet, kind, considerate, warm. He was always willing to help, an all-around wonderful person."

"And how would you describe your relationship with him?" I didn't understand where Irina was taking this, but the serious look on her face told me to play along.

"It was great. We worked well together. It was warm and safe. He was my best friend. I loved him and he loved me."

Irina smiled. "Now, close your eyes and remind me how you felt when you wanted Edward to kiss you."

"Why?" I retorted back growing weary of whatever she was trying to do.

"Trust me." It was her only answer. She held my gaze and I knew there would be no point in arguing.

"It was intense. My stomach was doing belly-flops and I felt like all the breath had been stolen from my lungs. Time felt as if it was standing still and my body felt alive. When he pulled back, there was a moment of sadness that I wouldn't find out if his lips were as soft as I had imagined."

Finished, I opened my eyes to find Irina regarding me carefully. "One last thing, Bella. Do you remember your first kiss with Seth?" I just nodded. "Good. Close your eyes and describe it to me."

Rolling my eyes, I did as she asked. "It was after our first date, he had walked me up to my door and we were saying goodnight when he pulled me closer. I was nervous about kissing him. But when his lips brushed mine, it was warm and sweet and so very gentle. It made me feel cherished."

"Wonderful, Bella. I think we are done here. I have some homework for you." I watched as Irina busied herself putting a sheet of her yellow legal pad into an envelope. "Before our next session, I want you to write a list of words describe both Edward and Seth. What you think of them, how they make you feel- just anything. Then open this. Can I trust you not to open this until you've done your part?"

She held the envelope just out of my reach. I was puzzled as to what she was doing, but trusted that she only had my best interests at heart.

"Yeah, you can trust me." She gave me the envelope and I tucked away in my purse.

"See you later, Bella and remember, its ok to feel how you feel, even lust." She winked at me and then walked me out of her office and into the lobby. I made my next appointment in a daze. As I drove home, I tried to figure out the meaning behind her assignment. It wasn't often that she gave them out, so there had to be an important lesson to be learned. But when I arrived home, I was pretty exhausted, so I gave up trying to understand Irina and crawled into bed. My last thought was wondering if Edward liked to cuddle.

 **A/N: Hmmm... wonder what her homework is... thoughts? As always, leave me some love! See you soon!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Ok.. things are gonna get a tad bumpy.. but will resolve quickly... It will be a-ok! Thank you to all who have reviewed and shared your stories with me.. I'm honored!**

EPOV

A few weeks after painting the nursery at Bella's place I was back helping her sort baby clothes and presents. Her co-workers had thrown her a baby shower and one of Seth's relatives had given Bella a huge bag filled with clothes. She was feeling overwhelmed and sent out an SOS to me. I was more than happy to help her out.

"I don't think I could eat another piece," moaned Bella. She threw the crust of her pizza into the box on the coffee table. She rubbed her belly which seemed to have popped overnight. I was mesmerized by her movements. My mind replayed how she let me feel the baby kick and how awesome it was. I'd forgotten how cool it was, having pushed all similar moments with Alice and Emmett into the deep recesses of my mind.

But after my last session with Tanya, I realized that she was correct. I was feeling so strongly toward Bella and it freaked me out, but I couldn't turn away. Bella captivated me and it felt as if I was being pulled toward her. I liked how I felt when around her and made the decision to see where it went. However, right now wasn't the right time to talk about that, right now Bella needed a friend. So that was what I would be for her.

"Well, if you're done stuffing your face, break time is over. I heard the dryer buzz five minutes ago, the last load is done."

Bella rolled her eyes at me. "Have you always been a slave driver?"

I laughed. "No, but since I'm here to be your willing slave, I figured we should just get it all done." I winked at her to let her know I was just teasing her.

Sighing, Bella nodded. "You're right. I'll get the clothes if you can start assembling the swing?"

I saluted her and made my way up to the nursery. A few moments later Bella followed and we worked in companionable silence. "It looks like you're pretty set for the little one. Between the shower and Seth's family, it looks like you have everything."

Bella just hummed in reply. Not sure what she was thinking, I just kept talking and I put the finishing touches on the swing.

"It's amazing how much babies need, or what we think they need. I swear most this stuff is for the parents." I laughed at myself. "Like did you know they made a warmer for wipes? When we saw it in the baby store I just didn't get why you'd need one."

Again, I got no response from Bella. Glancing over at her, I saw that she wasn't folding onesies, instead she was staring out the window. "You okay over there, Bella? Nothing's wrong, is it?"

"No … I just …. I'm fine." She didn't sound very convincing.

"Are you sure? You can talk to me you know."

"Am I a replacement for Alice and Emmett?" The words were so rapid and soft that I would've missed them had I not been paying attention to her. But immediately I had wished I didn't hear her question. I stood up to look at her, incredulous that she could even ask such a question.

"Are you serious, Bella? Is that how you think of me?"

She turned to face me, tears glistening in her eyes, but I couldn't have cared less.

"Edward, I'm so sorry …"

"You're sorry? No, I'm sorry, Bella, that won't cut it. I can't believe that you would even think that I would disrespect you, Alice and Emmett that way. How could you think so little of me to contemplate that I would be capable of something as wrong as that?"

I started pacing, realizing that I was more than angry at Bella, I was hurt. So very hurt that she could think I would treat her that way.

"You of all people know that you just don't replace loved ones who've died. I've worked damn hard to get to a point where I could move forward with my life and I figured you'd would understand that."

"I do!" she cried. "It's just, the way you look at me at times, it's so intense. It just didn't make sense why you would look at me like that unless you thought of me as a replacement."

I snorted. "Sorry to tell you this, but the world doesn't revolve around you, Bella. You don't think this connection we have doesn't freak the shit outta me? You don't think that I've stayed up nights filled with guilt that I was moving too fast or that it was wrong to find a woman, other than my wife, attractive?"

"I … I …" she stuttered. I whirled to face her, the tears had fallen, but the sight of them did nothing to halt the storm of emotions coursing through me.

"Let me clue you into a few facts. When I first met you, it killed me that you drew my eyes to you every time you walked in the room because it was a painful reminder of what I lost. But the more I talked to you, the more I became entranced by you. Who you are, Bella. So warm, open, caring, sweet- how could I not be drawn to you and what makes you- you?"

I paused, panting. I looked at Bella, her face streaked by tears, her cheeks blotchy and red. Seeing her so distraught finally tempered my raging emotions. Softening my tone, I continued.

"This is scary territory for me, for both of us. I'm sorry if I've been too intense, but I'm not sorry for how I feel about you. But if you're not ready, that's fine, but don't push your issues onto me and try and make them mine. Let me know when ready to talk about us."

With that I kissed her forehead and walked out of the room. Her quiet tears turned into loud sobs and it killed me to keep walking. She needed to sort out how she felt and she couldn't do that if I was there.

 **A/N: *peeks out* Are we all ok out there? Another is coming soon! Would love to hear your thoughts!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: I know... I know.. let's hear from Bella! ENJOY!**

BPOV

A week after I made a ginormous mess and Edward walked out of my house, I found myself at my favorite coffee shop. The small table in front of me was littered with my homework from Irina feeling even more like an idiot. The yellow legal pad filled with Irina's looping handwriting mocked me. The scrap of paper that held my own scribblings didn't help matters either.

The loud ringing of my phone cut through my self-loathing session. I didn't bother to look to see who was calling, just I swiped to answer, grateful for the reprieve.

"Hello," I answered, my eyes glued to the two pieces of offending paper.

"Bells! How ya doing? I hadn't heard from you in a few days." Jake's booming voice was the perfect antidote to my pity party.

"Sorry, Jake, been crazy with work and stuff." I sighed, desperately wanting a friend to talk to, but unwilling to be a burden.

"What's wrong, Bella," Jake's soft but commanding voice was all it took for the flood gates to open.

"I'm such an awful person!"

"Where are you?"

"Coffee shop down the street," I sniffled.

"I'll be there in fifteen."

True to his word, he rushed into the shop fifteen minutes later. By then the tears had dried up, but I was weighed down with guilt, shame, sadness and anger. It rolled around in me, a furious ball of colliding emotions that I no longer had any control over.

Sliding into the seat next to me, Jake wordlessly pulled me into his arms. Thankfully the tears didn't start again, but I did sink into his warm and comforting embrace. I missed being held and comforted by someone who loved you. While I knew we didn't have that kind of relationship, there was a part of me that felt I was hugging Seth whenever I hugged Jake.

Still holding me, he spoke quietly in my ear. "What's going on, Bella? Are you okay, is the baby okay?"

I nodded and pulled away so he could see I was being honest. "The baby is fine. Me, well that could be debated." Jake cocked his head in confusion. Before he could ask me to clarify, I word vomited all over him.

I told him about Edward and how close we've gotten, how helpful and supportive he's been to me and how I suspected he had feelings for me. Then spilled my guts about how I accused Edward of replacing his dead wife with me.

"I knew it was wrong the second I said it, but there was still a part of me that needed to hear his answer. You should've seen the look on his face, Jake. It was like I had kicked him in the junk and stole his puppy. He was so hurt."

Sighing as I straightened up in my seat, I picked up the offending papers and waved them in his face. "Then there's this stupid homework that my therapist gave me!" I threw them in his direction in a huff.

Jake picked them up and glanced over them, his brows furrowing as he tried to make sense of what he was seeing. "What am I looking at, Bella?" He held up the sheets.

Pointing to the one in my writing, "That is my list of how I would describe Seth and Edward. The yellow one was the list Irina made during our last session. I suspect its words I used."

The furrow was still present. "Um … Okay. I'm still not getting it."

Growling I snatched the sheets from him and laid them down on the table. "Compare them, Jake. Look at how I describe Seth, then compare it to Edward." Jake looked back down to the sheets.

"I'm still not seeing it! You got to spell it out for me."

Exasperated I pointed to Seth's side. "If I didn't know any better, it would sound as if I was describing a friend or a sibling. Look- safe, warm, sweet, giving, and loyal. I make him sound like a dog! But if you look at Edward's list- sexy, funny, caring, caring, supportive … Can't you see it, Jake? To an outsider it would look like I was in love with Edward."

Slumping as much as my belly would allow, I let the tears fall once more. I couldn't look Jake in the eyes, so sure all I would see would be condemnation that I was betraying his brother's memory.

Yet, there were no words, instead there was a shuffling of papers and then Jake's warm hands engulfing mine.

"Bella, look at me." Taking a deep breath, I raised my eyes.

"I would never question your love for Seth. But I would like to offer up that he wasn't your soul mate."

Gasping I pulled my hands away from his. "What? How can you say that?"

"Do you remember how you guys got together?"

I nodded. "Summer after we graduated college."

Jake laughed.

"You guys were together before then, you just never admitted it. You came home for Christmas break still pissed at that cowboy dude for breaking up with by kissing some tramp at a party. You and Seth sat in a corner of the room commiserating your break-ups. During spring break you two were joined at the hip. I know for a fact that you guys talked all the time and neither of you dated. That summer it just became the norm- Bella and Seth. It was an easy relationship for both of you to fall into."

I opened my mouth wanting to refute his characterization, but nothing would come out. "What are you saying, Jake?" My voice coming out colder than I had intended.

"That is was a safe and uncomplicated relationship. You knew each other as kids, our families were good friends and there was no drama. But can you honestly say there was true passion?"

I stiffened, feeling offended. "I don't think that's an appropriate question."

He just shook his head. "Fine, then just listen. When I first met Leah, I just knew she was the one. I thought about her all the time. When we touched, it was electric. And the best thing, it's stayed that way, even after all these years. There's nothing wrong with the relationship you had with Seth. It was comfortable and familiar. Had he lived, you would've lived your life in loving companionship."

"There's nothing wrong with that," I protested.

"No, there isn't. But from what I see on this list, it looks like you could have something with this Edward guy."

"It's too soon, Jake," I whispered.

"Only you can answer that, Bella." He reached over to grab my hands. "But I can say with absolute certainty that Seth would want you to be happy. He wouldn't want you to hideaway and mourn him forever. If Seth's death has taught us anything, it's that life is too short to worry about 'what-ifs'. If you're not ready, if it's too soon, that's fine. But if what's holding back is fear of the unknown, well, that's not a way to live."

Looking away from Jake I turned to peer outside, the warm sun mocking the grey that consumed my heart. I'm not sure how long I stared out the window, I was thankful for the silence he gave me. His warm hands never left mine. He would occasionally squeeze to remind me he was there.

There was a kernel of truth to Jake's words. However, I wasn't certain I was in a stable enough emotional place where I could admit it. I still needed to sort out my conflicting emotions. With a heavy sigh, I turned back to Jake and gave him the best reassuring smile I could muster.

"Come on, preggo, let's get you home."

 **A/N: Ohh poor Bella.. all tied up in knots... I'll let you digest this for a bit. Leave me some love?**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Thank you for all your beautiful words.. makes my heart smile! This is the chapter where we learn what what happened to Alice and Emmett.. I don't go into much detail.. but still.. could be triggering. Be safe!**

EPOV

I was thankful that the sun was shining. I was tired of the gloomy weather we'd been having. I brushed a few dead leaves away from the base of the dark grey headstone and placed the bouquet of daises I had brought. I stared at Alice's name carved into the unyielding stone. Her short twenty-nine-year life reduced to her name and dates of birth and death. She was gone, so fast.

She woke me up from a nap to say she was bleeding. At first I wasn't sure what she meant, till I saw the stain on her pants. We barely made it to the front door before she collapsed and stopped breathing. I gave her CPR until the paramedics came. They said that if there was any chance of delivering the baby, they had to keep her blood moving and oxygen flowing. Once we arrived at the hospital she was whisked immediately into the operating room where she crashed. Emmett was born blue and with the cord knotted and wrapped around his neck. In one instant, they were both gone.

The head of obstetrics had never seen a placental abruption like Alice's. It was something hard to detect and even harder to prevent. For weeks I tormented myself wondering what I could've done differently. Even now, a year later, it was hard to swallow that they were both victims in a freaky set of tragic circumstances.

But as I sat at their graves, ruminating, I realized I couldn't handle being sad and angry anymore. I missed being happy, I missed laughing and not feeling ashamed for a moment of levity. I missed having days where I wasn't weighted down with guilt and sadness. I missed feeling normal.

Sighing, I stood up and brushed the grass off my pants. "I miss you, sweetheart, I hope you know that." Placing a kiss on each hand I placed it on their names and began the slow walk home.

Hours later, I collapsed onto my couch, the last boxes filled with Alice's and Emmett's stuff had been packed away. I kept a few mementos and pictures, but the rest held no interest for me. Unfortunately, Alice's parents were unable to go through her belongings to take what they want. They were having a hard time with her loss. They begged me to keep it, hoping one day they'd be able to bear it. Emmett's stuff was boxed and would be sent to a local children's charity.

I closed my eyes, just wanting to rest them, knowing I had promised a co-worker that I would go to the bar with him to watch baseball. He was in the doghouse with the wife and wanted a few hours away from the tension. In no time at all, I was asleep.

When I woke, I was a bit disoriented. Instead of my couch, I was in a room that was nothing but bright light and warmth. Looking around, I realized that I wasn't in my house, but outside, in a place that looked vaguely familiar. Walking around, I noticed trees were all around and there was a small path. Without thinking, I followed the path. I worried that I should be panicking that I wasn't at home and was walking toward who knows what. All I felt was calm.

The path wound through some woods and ended up in a beautiful clearing. Tall grass waved in the breeze, and patches of wildflowers dotted the serene landscape. In the back of mind, a niggling thought scratched at my memories. I felt as if I knew this place, but I couldn't recall how or why I felt that way.

"Don't strain too hard, you'll hurt yourself." The tinkling laughter that followed froze me on the spot. I would recognize that voice anywhere.

"Alice," I whispered.

"Who else would it be? The tooth fairy?"

Shaking my head, I turned around and there she was, on the other side of the clearing. "How? Why? How?"

She laughed and shook her head. "You're not dead, you're dreaming." Slowly she walked toward me. When she was just inches from me, I was enveloped in her arms and the familiar scent of Chanel.

"Oh, Alice," I cried and then hugged her fiercely. We swayed for what seemed liked forever. When she pulled back, she ran her hands through my hair, ruffling it like she so often did.

"I don't understand. What's going on?"

Her blues eyes gleamed mischievously. "You got a crush," she sing-songed. "You got a crush."

"No! What are you talking about, Alice?"

"Don't get your panties in a twist, Edward. I'm talking about Bella."

My mouth dropped open, "How do you know about her."

She leaned closer and whispered, "I get to watch!" She laughed at her twisted joke. When she saw I wasn't laughing, she quieted down and regarded me thoughtfully. "What's wrong, Edward, did you lose your sense of humor?"

"I just don't know what's going on. Tell me, please!"

Wrinkling her nose, Alice sighed and then sank down onto the ground. I hastily followed her. She grabbed my hand, threading our fingers together.

"Fine, I'll tell you." She paused, her gaze traveling over the clearing. "I'm okay, Edward. Emmett and I, we're at peace. We both think it's time for you to find your own peace. I know you will always love us, as we will always love you. But there is another love waiting for you. Don't miss it."

Hot tears coursed down my cheeks. "I'm forgetting things, Alice. Like the way you used to hum when you cooked and the sound of your laughter." Cupping her face, I stared into her eyes. "It's hard to remember your touch."

"That's normal, Edward. What really counts is that you remember how happy we were and how much we loved each other." Her cool finger wiped the tears and I nuzzled into her touch.

"How is Emmett?"

"He's happy, beautiful, and loves you just as much as I do."

"Can I see him?" My eyes scanned the clearing, praying for a glimpse of my son.

"No," she whispered. "His was a pure soul, he's among the angels now, watching over you. It was Emmett who steered Bella in your direction. He thought you two needed each other."

"What? Why?"

Alice cupped my face, peering directly into my eyes. "You were both lost, drifting aimlessly in your grief."

"She's not a replacement for either of you."

"Of course not!" she exclaimed shaking her head. "My darling Edward, there is a purpose for everything and this was ours."

"No! I refuse to accept that you died just so I could be with Bella. That's too cruel to contemplate."

"Oh, Edward, Edward," crooned Alice and she pulled me back into her embrace. "That's not how it works, baby. I was sent to teach you how to love, to open your heart to the possibilities of life. Emmett taught you how to be a part of something bigger than yourself. With Bella, you'll see just how powerful all that will be."

She kissed my forehead and my body was filled with such warmth and happiness, I felt as if my body would erupt into sparks.

"What did you do?" I asked her, still in awe of how incredible I felt.

"I erased some of your pain and sadness. It's time Edward. You have a long and happy life waiting for you. Don't worry about us, we'll be fine."

With that, she faded away and the light grew dimmer and dimmer. I woke with a start, sitting upright to find that I was back in my house. My body still felt warm and fuzzy and there was an incredible sense of rightness. I wanted to sit back and enjoy that feeling, but a loud pounding on my door interrupted my self-reflection.

Making my way to the front door, I realized that it was raining. It was such an odd thing to notice. Opening the door I was shocked by the sight in front of me.

"Bella?"

 **A/N: *sniffles* You all ok out there? For those of you who guessed.. you were close.. it was Emmett not Alice that brought Bella to him! As always, leave me your thoughts.**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Let's see what brought Bella to Edward's house! ENJOY!**

BPOV

It had been over three weeks since I last spoke to Jake. His words bounced in my head, colliding with the confusion I already felt. I had stayed away from the group, unwilling to run into Edward, just yet. There had been numerous times I reached for my phone to text him something that reminded me of him. But I always paused over the send button before I would delete the message. He was clear, I needed to figure out my shit.

Problem was, I was so fucking afraid. Jake was right, Seth and I just fell into a relationship. That summer we hung out all the time, went to movies and dinner. I was mistaken in what I told Irina. Our first kiss was at his parents' Fourth of July party. It wasn't earth shattering; the only fireworks were the ones going off overhead. Our friends saw, oohed and awed saying it was about time. It was just assumed we were a couple, so we became one. He was safe. It was what I needed. Life with Seth was easy and uncomplicated.

But one kiss … one soft kiss on the forehead from Edward made my world tilt. Kisses from Seth never felt that way and it felt like such a betrayal, I just couldn't get past it. But Jake, the list from Irina, even my own list refused to allow me to ignore the truth. I was immensely attracted to Edward, even more than I had ever been to Seth and it was a complete mindfuck. Add in the baby and I felt like I needed to be on Maury Povich.

Feeling like I was cooped up, I went for a drive trying to sort out my feelings; but all I could think about was Edward and getting a kiss in other places other than my forehead. Even my dreams were filled with him and what I'd love to have him do to me. I tried, desperately, to focus on the scenery, the way the sun warmed me, but it was no use. Seeing a park, I pulled in, hoping a walk in the fresh air would do me good.

I wandered, all over the place. Edward and Seth were on a constant replay in my head. They were so different, yet that wasn't a bad thing. Edward was unlike any guy I had ever met. He was intense and smart and so damn sexy, I felt breathless around him. I sat on a bench that overlooked the play area, the sight of all the kids and parents made me smile and I rubbed my belly in anticipation of being just like them soon.

I had to be honest with myself, I wanted to be with Edward. It was my situation that was stopping me- I was pregnant with my dead husband's child. I didn't want Edward to be a father to my child, but I did want him. Was it too much to ask of him? I wasn't sure. Watching the kids play, I ached with sadness that Seth would never get the chance. But when I closed my eyes, to imagine how it would look when I brought my child here, I was shocked to see I pictured Edward. I smiled, the picture of it was so perfect. Could it really be that easy?

In that moment, I needed to see Edward. The pull I had was too strong to ignore anymore, so I didn't. I started walking, noticing that the park was close to Edward's house. I laughed, thinking sub-consciously I was driving myself closer to him. I had no idea what I would say, all I knew was that I needed to take a chance. I was tired of being fearful, I was tired of being safe. I prayed for Seth's forgiveness as I walked. But with each step I took, there was a sense of sureness that grew inside me.

Six blocks from his house, the sun gave way to clouds and then rain. I was soaked as I pounded on his door, but I didn't care.

"Bella?'

"Edward," I breathed.

He reached for my hand and pulled me in. My eyes zeroed in to where his warm hands engulfed my cold ones. My heart raced, further proof that I was right where I needed to be.

"I'm sorry for barging in. I was just walking and …"

"You walked over here from your house? That's over five miles!" My teeth chattered and he pulled his hands out of mine. "You're freezing!" Running into the living room he plucked a flannel blanket off the back of his couch and flung it around my shoulders. "Let's get you warm." He threaded our hands together and led me up the stairs and to his room.

Edward was a whirlwind, pulling out sweats and a pullover sweatshirt and throwing them on his bed. "Change into these, you need to get warm and fast. We can throw your clothes in the dryer." His eyes darted all over the room as if he was looking for something then he darted into his bathroom coming out seconds later with a pile of towels. "Here, to dry off with these." He thrust them at me. Wordlessly I took them and his smile was blinding. "I'll be downstairs." He squeezed my arm while giving me an undecipherable look.

Faster than I ever thought was possible with my enormous belly, I struggled out of my wet clothes, toweled down and slipped on the clothes Edward left for me. I inhaled as I pulled the sweatshirt over my head, smiling as Edward's unique scent of enveloped me. As I made my way down the stairs, I waited for the panic to take over, the fear that everything hinged on the conversation I was heading toward. Yet, with each step, I only felt nervous anticipation, a riot of butterflies and a giddiness that plastered a wide smile on my face.

I found Edward in the living room, two steaming mugs of tea and a plateful of cookies. My heart skipped a beat. Did his thoughtfulness know no bounds?

"Thank you, Edward, for everything." I tried to gracefully sit down but my stomach made it difficult. If Edward noticed, he never let it on and handed me one of the mugs.

"Anytime. Not that I'm not happy to see you, but what were you doing walking in the rain?" He sipped his tea and watched me thoughtfully over the rim of his cup. I held his gaze, trying to organize my thoughts.

"I didn't mean to walk in the rain, I was sorta lost in my own thoughts." Taking a deep breath, I said the one thing that I absolutely had to say before anything else was said. "I'm sorry, Edward." I grasped his free hand. "I didn't mean those words. I know you're not trying to replace Alice with me. It was a cruel thing to say. I can only say I was scared. Scared of how I felt about you and what that all meant."

Edward smiled and squeezed my hand. "Can I ask how you feel about me?"

"Exhilaration, excitement, fear and most of all, the fact that I don't know what will happen, but I want to find out." Setting my cup down, I scooted closer to Edward, taking his cup as well. "Part of me is tired of fighting how I feel, Edward. You make me feel alive and like a woman. There's also a part of me that is nervous. I feel more for you than I ever felt for Seth and I need to work through that. But if you're willing to be patient with me, I'm all in."

As I spoke, his smile grew, his eyes sparkled and the electricity between us crackled. His eyes searched mine, peering deep into my soul and unwavering I held his gaze. Instead of speaking, he leaned closer, still watching me, making sure I was okay with his intentions. I was more than fine and nodded my head ever so slightly.

When his lips touched mine, I gasped. I felt it zing through every nerve ending. My heart sped and without thinking I pulled him closer, prolonging the kiss. We were tentative, soft pecks, and timid nibbles. Needing to breathe, I parted my lips and his tongue slipped in and I was a goner. My hands fisted in his hair, as I deepened the kiss. The hairs on my arms were raised, and I was trembling so much I felt my heart would explode.

When we finally pulled away, we were both panting hard and wore matching idiotic smiles. "Wow," he exclaimed. "That was amazing."

"It was," I whispered. I caressed his face, my nails finally able to scratch the slight stubble on his cheek. It was even more amazing than I had thought.

"I'll be patient, Bella. This is scary for me too. I keep worrying if it's too soon, for either of us. But like you, I can't fight how I feel. I need to see where this will go."

I kissed his cheeks and then his nose before placing a featherweight kiss on his lips. "We'll figure this out together then?"

"Yeah, together." He pulled me into his arms and I relaxed, letting the comforting feeling of his arms ground me to the here and now.

We sat there, cuddled close and the silence didn't bother me. I luxuriated in feeling close to someone. I wanted to stay there forever, but the kiddo was kicking up a storm and it made me have to pee. "Can I use your bathroom, Edward?" He nodded, kissing my forehead before releasing me. As I stood up, my stomach tightened painfully and I gripped my belly. Seconds after it eased, I felt a rush of liquid.

"Shit, Edward, I think my water broke!"

 **A/N: *giggles* I love me a cliffie! One more regular chapter and then 2 epis! Thoughts? Love you all!**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Here is the last regular chapter... and in case you're wondering.. yes.. the little one is a bit early.. in my head.. she is like 34-35 weeks. ENJOY!**

EPOV

"You've got to breathe, Bella," instructed the nurse. She wiped off Bella's sweaty brow as I held her hand.

"I'm trying," moaned Bella. "It fucking hurts!"

"I know, sweetie, but breathing through the contractions help. We can try walking or the ball again." The nurse's patience was heaven sent. Bella was in hour seven of labor and progress was pretty much non-existent.

It was hard to see her suffering when she was a pillar of strength when were back at my place. She took her water breaking in stride, having me time her contractions to see how far apart they were. When they timed to be about twenty minutes, she kicked into gear. I gave her now dried clothes back to her so she could change while I got my car ready. Carefully I helped her in and we made our way to her house to pick up her hospital bag. As I ran inside, she called Jake to pick up her car and to let him know she was in labor.

Once she got to her room, the true battle started. The contractions became more painful, yet it all seemed for nothing. At the last check, she was only at a three. We needed one more to give her the epidural.

I was surprised she wanted me to stay. When she looked at me, her eyes wide and fearful, I knew there was no way that I'd leave her alone. So I did what I could; I got her ice chips, rubbed her back, and held her hand through the contractions. When I could, I'd talk to her about anything and everything just to distract her. I told her stories from my childhood. Her pained smiles let me know how much she appreciated my attempts.

A few hours later, the doctor did another check and announced that she could have an epidural. Bella jumped at the chance. Forty-five minutes later, Bella was feeling much better.

"What did your mom have to say?" I asked as Bella hung up her phone.

"She's going to try and find a flight tonight, if not, she'll leave tomorrow morning." She sighed.

"Not looking forward to seeing her?"

Bella shakes her head. "Not really. I love her to pieces. But she wants me stuck in grief ya know?" I nodded. "With the baby, I can only imagine it would be worse." She closed her eyes and started to breathe as a contraction hit.

I waited for the contraction to subside, admiring the strength of Bella and women everywhere who go through childbirth. When the pain eased, Bella turned her head to look at me.

"How are you really doing?" I gave her a pointed look to let her know what I meant.

A thoughtful look cross her face. "I don't know how I feel. There's a part of me that's sad that Seth is missing this. But there's a larger part of me that's excited. I've been waiting to meet this kid ever since I knew I was pregnant. For now, I'm concentrating on that."

Just then another contraction hit and Bella grimaced. I held her hand, watching the monitor for when it would end. When it was over, I handed her a cup of ice chips. She looked exhausted, but still so beautiful.

"You look tired. Why don't you try to sleep? It will be your last time for some time." I winked at her and she laughed.

"Funny, Edward. But I think you're right. Are you sure you're okay being here?" She bit her lip in worry.

"No place I'd rather be." I squeezed her hand. "Now try and sleep."

"She's perfect, Bella," I whisper as I marvel at the tiny person she's holding.

Bella's finger was stroking a pink arm, a look of wonder on her face. "I can't believe I did it."

"You were amazing." Her nap only lasted a little over an hour before the contractions came hard and fast. I tried to leave, sure that she didn't want me there as she gave birth, but she begged me to stay. I ended up holding her hand and counting down while she pushed. She was such a trooper. Even when she ended up pushing for close to an hour, she never complained.

When her daughter was born and laid on her chest, I'd never seen such a beautiful sight. They handed her the scissors and I took pictures as she severed her physical connection to her daughter. We both had tears coursing down our faces. I was so proud of Bella. I waited for grief to overwhelm me, but it never came. I was in awe of being present at such a miraculous event. I was nothing but happy for Bella.

The sound of Bella sniffling brought my focus to the present. Looking up at Bella, there was such sadness on her face.

"What's wrong, Bella?"

She wiped her face and tried to give me a confident smile. I saw right through it. "It's stupid. Don't mind me."

Carefully I sat on the edge of her bed, my hand cupping the stocking covered head of the sleeping baby. "If it's making you cry, it's something. Talk to me, please." I wiped away the tears on her cheek and waited for her to speak.

After a few moments she turned her soulful eyes on me. "I was looking at her and it just hit me, what do I name her? Seth never knew I was pregnant, so I never knew what names he would like." She cried softly and I hugged her to me. "It just hit me that I am a single parent and it sounds so hard and lonely."

Gently I picked up the baby and laid her in her bassinet. Returning to Bella's side I gathered her in my arms. "You're not alone, Bella. Having her doesn't change how I feel about you and I will help in whatever way that I can. You've also got Jake and Seth's entire family here to help. All you need to do is reach out and let us know what you need."

Leaning back, I tipped her face up with my fingers. "Remember what Carmen said when you first came to group? She said there is no weakness in asking for help. It takes strength to admit you can't do it alone. If there is one thing I know about you, it's that you're one of the strongest people that I know."

I kissed her forehead and hugged her close. Her arms tightened around me. "Thanks, Edward," she whispered into my chest. "You're pretty amazing yourself."

As we sat there, wrapped around each other, rocking from side to side, I made a solemn vow to stand by Bella in whatever way she needed.

Our moment of silence was broken by a tiny wail. We both glanced over to the bassinet to see the baby was awake and starting to fuss.

"I bet she's hungry. Can you get a bottle made up?" asked Bella. I nodded and took a bottle from the shelf below the bassinet while Bella scooped her up and held her close. Together we watched as she suckled on the bottle.

"So, do you have a name for this little princess?"

Bella regarded her daughter, taking in her ten perfect fingers, rosy cheeks and small tufts of black hair peeking from under her cap. "Yeah, I think so. Edward, meet Zoe Michelle Clearwater."

Leaning down I kissed Zoe's forehead. "Welcome to the world, Zoe."

 **A/N: Awwww... baby Zoe! I know a few of you wanted Edward to hold the baby, but this was really Bella's moment. Also, since I couldn't find a way I liked to get into the story... I'll let you know that Seth died due being hit by a drunk driver. I detailed how Edward lost Alice and Emmett only because it was central to how he felt about Bella. OK... just the epis left. Leave me some love?**

 **WVG**


	12. Epilogue 1

**A/N: Let's check in on them to see what they've been up to! ENJOY!**

EPILOGUE 1

Two Years Later- BPOV

"Thank you for coming! Don't forget Emily's goodie bag!" I picked up the princess themed plastic bag and handed it to Jake while Leah helped their daughter, Emily, into her coat.

"Say goodbye to Uncle Jake and Auntie Leah, Zoe!" She ran from the living room and hugged both their legs. "Fank you!"

Jake ruffled her hair. "Anytime squirt." In a flash she ran back to the living room. Looking up at me, he pulled me into a hug. "I'll see you soon, okay?" I nodded and kissed his check.

"Bye guys!" I watched them make their way to their car and then closed the front door as they pulled away. Walking into the living room, I half expected to come face to face with a chaotic mess. Instead, I was greeted with Edward and Zoe singing and dancing as they cleaned up. Zoe was putting paper from her presents in a garbage bag while Edward worked on the food plates.

Not wanting to disturb them, I watched quietly from the background. Edward was always so amazing with Zoe. True to his word that day in the hospital, he was never more than a phone call away. He watched Zoe on nights when I was so sleep deprived I thought I would die. He never complained, no matter how late I called him. Each time he did that it made me love him all that much more.

That's not to say the last two years were easy. We had our rough patches. Every milestone Zoe hit that Seth missed messed with my head and I grieved all over again. We had taken several breaks as I worked through my issues. I didn't deserve his never-ending patience. Yet, each and every time I came back to him, he was there, waiting for me. His love for me knew no limits.

Even today, as we had a small birthday party for Zoe, he was there helping out without my asking him to. What's more amazing is the relationship that he has with Zoe. He never shied away from the dirty parts of taking care of a small child. But it was in the tender moments that he shined. Like when they play tea party and he lets her dress him up. I have hundreds of pictures of Zoe sleeping on his chest. He did all the things a father did without the title. He always made sure that Zoe called him Edward and not dad. That's not to say she didn't call him that at times. The first time she did that, I saw such hope in his eyes, however, the look left as fast as it came.

"You know, you can join us, Bella." Edward's teasing tone broke through the memories. He was holding out a garbage bag and beckoning me to join them.

"Help, momma!" exclaimed Zoe.

"Yep, Momma will help." Taking the proffered bag, I worked with my two favorite people in the world, content to be right where I was.

Later that night I was waiting for Edward to join me in now clean living room. Zoe asked for him to read _Goodnight Moon_ to her and he couldn't say no. I was sipping on some wine when I heard him coming down the stairs.

"Is she finally asleep?" I loved my daughter, but she took forever to fall sleep.

"After reading the story three times." He chuckled and then stole the glass from my hand.

"Hey, I deserved that! My ears are still ringing after having five kids in one room." He kissed my head and returned my glass almost empty. "Gee, thanks for leaving me a sip." I downed the rest before Edward could get to it. Closing my eyes, I laid my head back, finally able to relax.

"Sorry, I needed a jolt of liquid courage." I felt him sit next to me on the couch.

"What? Why" Opening my eyes I turned my head to look at him. His green eyes were shining and he was giving me his crooked grin that made me want to jump him.

"For this." He then held up a small black box. "Bella, would you do me the honor of marrying me? Our journey has been winding and difficult, but you're the only person that I want to continue onward with."

Tears sprang in my eyes blurring my vision of him. I scrubbed them away, wanting to remember this moment forever.

"Yes," I whispered. I launched myself at him. Peppering his face with kisses and tears. He held me close, making me feel so safe and loved.

"I love you, Edward. There are days I wonder what I did to deserve you."

He kissed my nose. "Just by being you. That's all I've ever wanted. I love you, too."

 **A/N: Such warm fuzzies! One more epi to go! Would love to hear your thoughts!**


	13. Epilogue 2

**A/N: And do we come to the end... Thanks for being with me on this journey... See you at the bottom!**

EPILOGUE 2

One Year Later- EPOV

"Are you sure this is what you want, Bella?" I watched her as she walked toward me a soft smile on her lips. I thanked my lucky stars that she wanted to be with me.

She straightened my tie and then wound her arms around my neck. "It is, Edward. Unless you no longer want to marry me." She winked and I growled.

"Never!" I swooped down and captured her lips in a soft kiss. "I can't wait to be married to you. I just don't want you to regret not having an actual wedding."

Her warm hand cupped my cheek. "This is what I want. This time I want it to be about us. Me, you and Zoe. This is the start of _our_ family and so, I want it just for us. We have the party tomorrow to celebrate with family and friends."

"You're perfect, Bella!" I went back to kissing her, this time, deeper and harder.

"Momma!" Zoe's bellow interrupted us before I could take things too far. Which was a good thing as Zoe came barreling into the room.

"Momma need flowers!" She was pointing at her head and giving Bella the most adorable pout.

"I'll put them in your hair when we get there."

"No, momma, now. I be pwetty!" Zoe pouted and I stifled a laugh.

Throwing me a glare she regarded her demanding child. "Can you be careful? We don't want to ruin them."

Zoe nodded solemnly. Her deep brown eyes gazed beseechingly at Bella and I knew she would cave. It was hard to resist such adorableness.

"Fine, we can put them in now." Zoe screamed and ran back to her room and returned just as fast with the headband covered in flowers. I watched as Bella slipped it on. The colorfulness of the flowers worked well with Zoe's dark hair. It was a mixture of her parents. She had Seth's dark hair color with Bella's waves. It was the only thing the hinted at her father. Otherwise, Zoe was a mini Bella, right down to the shape of her lips.

"You look beautiful, Zoe. Are we ready to go? Our appointment is in an hour." I grabbed the diaper bag siting by the door while Bella helped Zoe into a pale pink cardigan sweater to go over her cream-colored dress.

Forty-five minutes later, we were waiting in the antechamber of the judge's office. Zoe was happily playing on her iPad while Bella talked to Carmen and her husband Garrett. We needed witnesses and we'd both agreed that Carmen would be the perfect person. It was her group that brought us together, even if the circumstances were less than happy.

The door opened, and a tall man with pale blonde hair walked in. From the black robes he was wearing, I assumed he was the judge.

"Bella Clearwater and Edward Masen I presume?" He stuck out his hand and we both shook it. I placed my arm around Bella. "I'm Judge Carlisle Cullen. Are we ready to begin?'

"Yes, your honor," I replied. He gestured for us to gather around.

"It's one of the greatest privileges for a judge to help two people or in your case, three, become a family. Do you both come here of your own free will and wish to declare yourself?"

"We do," we both replied.

"I will ask you to face each other and please say your vows. Edward, you will go first."

Turning to face Bella, I let the words come from my heart.

"When I first saw you, Bella, you were like a shining beacon of hope in some of my darkest days. Your goodness, sweetness and kindness reminded me that there was still hope, light and love in this world. Our journey to this day is not one of convention, but it allowed us to appreciate every single moment of it. We both understand the frailty and beauty that exists in life. Today, I want to pledge my love to you and Zoe. I promise to care for you, support you, honor and cherish you. I can't promise you forever, but I can promise you to love you for all of my life. You make me want to be a better man. I love you, Bella.'

Bella's warm eyes were shining with tears, but her smile was so wide, it took my breath away.

"Bella, now your vows."

She squeezed my hand.

"Edward, I was lost when I met you. A lonely soul living in darkness, consumed by sadness. But then you came into my life. Like a meteor you streaked across my world and banished the darkness. You became my friend, confidant, my lover and I can't wait for you to be my husband. I promise to love you, to live my life with you. I never knew love like this and I couldn't imagine my life without it, without you. I love you, Edward."

"Are there rings?" asked Judge Cullen.

"Yes," replied Carmen as she placed them into the judge's outstretched hand.

"Rings are a symbol of the commitment you pledged before your witnesses and each other. Please take them and place them on each other's fingers."

Taking the rings from his hand, we slid them on. I couldn't help myself, I kissed her finger as I slid her bands on.

"By the laws of the state of Minnesota, I pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride."

Carmen and Garrett cheered and Zoe clapped as I kissed Bella. It was just a chaste kiss, but it conveyed how happy I was and how much I loved her.

When we pulled away, we were congratulated in a flurry of hugs and pats on the back.

"I don't want to stop the celebration, but I think there is one more thing we have to do," stated Judge Cullen. He bent down by Zoe. "I have a question for you. Do you think you can answer?"

Zoe, never one to be afraid of anyone, nodded her head.

"Edward has asked me to make him your daddy. Would you like that?"

Zoe's eyes went wide. "You can do dat?"

The Judge nodded his head. "I can, but only if you want. You'll have a new last name as well."

"What name be?" asked Zoe

Bella crouched down next to Zoe and I joined her. "Now that mommy is married to Edward, mommy will have a new last name and you can have the same name as well. It will be Masen.

Zoe tilted her head. "Daddy in heaven?"

I grabbed Zoe's hand. "Yes, you will still have a daddy in heaven. I want to be your daddy here. One that you get to see every day. Would you like that?"

Her face scrunched up as she processed my question. She knew about Seth and that he was in heaven, well, as much as a three year old could comprehend heaven. For a fraction of a second I worried she would say no. I shouldn't have. Just then her face broke out in a huge smile and she threw her arms around me. "Daddy!"

Everyone chuckled while Bella joined the hug.

"I'll take that as a yes," remarked the judge as he clapped me on my shoulder. "Let's make you a dad!"

We all gathered around his desk, Zoe in my arms as the Judge went through the adoption paperwork. Both Bella and I signed our names several times. With the last stroke of my signature, the judge flipped it around so he could add his.

"Daddy, me write name?"

"You want to write your new name, Zoe?" She nodded and pointed to the adoption decree. I looked over at the judge who nodded. He slid the papers closer to me and pointed toward the bottom.

"You can write it here." He handed her a pen and she gripped it tight.

"Daddy help?" She looked up at me and my heart skipped a beat. I don't think I'd ever tire of her calling me daddy.

"Sure, pumpkin. Here we go." Slowly, we wrote Zoe Masen in all capital letters. "There you go, it says Zoe Masen."

"That me!" She clapped and we all cheered with her.

"Congratulations, you are now Edward, Bella and Zoe Masen," declared Judge Cullen.

"I love the sound of that," replied Bella with a smile.

"Me too, baby." We sealed the judge's proclamation with a kiss and a family hug. The first of many yet to come.

 **A/N: I want to say thank you for Elizabeth for arranging for this Last Ride of FAGE. Its been an honor to be a part of it.**

 **To Pixie who makes my words sparkle.. even when I give her days... I don't deserve you. Don't leave me!**

 **To Eternally Cullen- I hope I did your prompt justice and that you love this story as much as I did writing it for you. It was a privilege!**

 **As always... much love to you, my wonderful readers... I'll be back! Leave me some love!**

 **WVG**


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